Blog

Heyyyy!

I know I haven't written anything in the last two days...that's my bad. In my defense...

So I learned something really important about myself. I will do everything in my power to not do what I don't want to do. If I don't want to study for a math test I will find as many distractions as possible so I have an excuse not to study. But then my grades slipped heavily, so my mom told me something.

"You have to want to do the thing you don't want to do"

And I was like

"what"

I think I understand it now, though. This morning I wanted to sleep in. But then I told myself "do what you don't wanna do" and I got up. Got some extra time to do work and play games. Definitely worth it. Right now, I kind of just want to watch anime, but I'm writing this because I told myself I would. That's another thing, when it comes to doing something you said you would, you gain trust with yourself. When the opposite happens, you lose trust. I have lost a lot of trust with myself because I told myself I'd do so many things that I didn't. I feel liberated and self assured. This is the best I've felt in years!

Be honest with yourself about your weaknesses, even if it's hard to hear. I am lucky enough to have a mom that can see right through me and tell me the hard truths, but sometimes others don't get that privilege. You know yourself best. If you are unhappy with who you are, ask yourself honestly "what do I want to change?" And I'm not talking about someone telling you your hair is too long and now you want to cut it. No, take everyone else out of this. Just looking inward at yourself. For me, it was my discipline, so I'm getting better. You just have to invite honesty and hard truths. It's gonna be hard at first, but it feels so great when you feel like the person you are is the person you want to be.

YAY!

Love, Xyla